


Have Yourselves A Merry Smokey Christmas

by wibblywobblydemonydeducythings



Category: Luciael, Michifer - Fandom, Supernatural
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Lucifer - Freeform, M/M, Making Dinner, Merry Christmas ya filthy animal, Michael - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 07:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2842670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wibblywobblydemonydeducythings/pseuds/wibblywobblydemonydeducythings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer tries to cook a traditional Christmas dinner for Michael, and fails. While Michael tries to find Lucifer the perfect gift. How will Lucifer manage? and what do you get for the devil? The one who could snap his fingers and have just almost anything in the world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have Yourselves A Merry Smokey Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was created for only one reason: A Christmas gift for a very special person.  
> Chuck, my dear, this is for you. Just because we're in two different countries doesn't mean you don't get a gift from me.  
> I hope you all enjoy it.

     The mall could be a strange scary place if you weren’t used to it, and Michael was certainly not familiar with such a place.  
He’d been there once before, when he tagged along with the Winchesters to buy clothes for himself and his boyfriend, Lucifer.  
     

Being an archangel meant that you could have anything you wanted with the snap of your fingers. But Michael wanted to do things the traditional way. Buying a present for his lover, however, was proving to be problematic.

     What do you get for the devil? The one who could snap his fingers and have just almost anything in the world? It was a difficult task that he was very determined to accomplish.

     Michael was always very stubborn, but then again it was a family trait. Gabriel, Raphael and mostly Lucifer were as stubborn as it gets.

     He walked around the mall checking everything out. He must have walked into every store. The workers at the clothing shops hated him the most. He would come up to a neatly folded pile of clothes and look through it, messing everything up. And then he’d just leave, without saying a word. He must’ve visited 20 boutiques that day and he still couldn’t find anything befitting his boyfriend.

     Lucifer, the devil himself, was having his own share of problems. He had decided to cook a traditional Christmas dinner for the two of them.And it wasn’t as easy as Rachel Ray made it seem.

     They had watched a Christmas movie a few nights ago and Michael had expressed how lovely it would have been if they could do that. Since then, Lucifer had been plotting to make his wish come true, the traditional way.

     He had been watching the food channel all day, taking notes. He went out and bought the turkey, which was challenging on its own. Finding out what size to get and which brand, was exhausting for him.

     He got home and decided to take a power nap before starting on the turkey. He was convinced he had the time, since Michael was on his mission.

     After a well needed nap, Lucifer went to the kitchen, tied a brand new apron around his waist and started work.The turkey was frozen solid. So Lucifer started the process of thawing it. All the cooking programs said he should have started this process earlier, but he was sure it would be no problem.

     Boy was he wrong. He put the turkey in a pan and placed it in the oven in hopes the heat would help thaw it. But the oven kept going out, since all the water dripped back down inside of it. And because of that, it eventually wouldn’t turn back on.

     Lucifer tried his best to fix it but to no avail. The oven was officially broken and he had no idea how to fix it. He stood around the kitchen for almost thirty minutes trying to figure out his next move.

     He eventually decided to deep fry the bird, but it was still frozen. So he snapped a blow torch into existence and went to work on it. He moved carefully around the turkey with the torch thawing all the thick ice.

     It seemed to be working, at first. He was feeling pretty proud of himself, up until the turkey started to get a black color in certain spots. It took him a while to realize that he was burning the bird. He stopped and took a look at it. It had scorch marks all around and there was still ice covering some parts of it.

Cooking was a little harder than it looked like on TV.

     Michael was still at the mall, looking around, going to every store and annoying the hell out of every clerk. He even went to the sports stores. That was where he was completely lost. He touched everything, even though the clerk repeatedly told him not to.

     He found hockey to be extremely peculiar... Why would anyone run around the ice dragging a thin stick with them? And what was the point of all the equipment and gear? Why would anyone want to chase after the puck? All questions that were unanswered.

     Next he found the sweets store. He walked around, looking at all the kids going insane and acting out. He tasted anything they offered him and then bought absolutely nothing, which drove the workers there insane.

     The shoe store was next in line. He took a look at absolutely everything. Every pair of shoes in the shop was inspected by him, including the women’s sizes. He ruined every tower built with the boxes.He even tried on a couple of pairs of shoes. He eventually remembered he had no idea what size shoe Lucifer’s vessel even wore. So he just walked out, without even thanking the man that ran around following him from rack to rack.

He was already tired and he had a long way to go.

 

     Lucifer was still in the kitchen fixing up the turkey. When he figured that it was as thawed as it was going to get, he brought a pot, filled it with oil and put it on the stove.

     Then he started on the mashed potatoes. He had boiled them while he tried to thaw the turkey, and was currently preparing them for mashing.

     Lucifer looked at the tool in his hand. He was sure it was the same one he’d seen them using on the television. He set the bowl on the counter and began to crush the potatoes. They were still firm and resisted the motion. He threw in a stick of butter and half a bottle of milk and continued working at them.

     After a while, the mixture became difficult to mash. It was sticky, and clung to the whisk. Maybe this hadn’t been the right tool for the job, after all. Lucifer pressed harder, using his shoulder to get a more forceful motion. The stirring kept moving the bowl closer and closer to the edge of the counter, until it was braced against his body for support.

     With one last push, it slipped out of his hands. He tried to hit the bottom, but the force only sent it flying through the air. It landed with a splash in the pot of boiling oil, ruining all of his hard work.

     It was hectic trying to clean everything up, but he got it done. It took Lucifer an hour and a half to be able to start working on something else. He was left with no mashed potatoes, no pot, no oil for the turkey... Oh, and also the stove was now completely wrecked.

     “Barbecue it is!” He exclaimed, snapping his fingers. A pit appeared in the kitchen.

     Michael was now at the end of his rope. He was sick of all the stores, with all the clerks trying so hard to sell him anything they could. He had visited every shop in the mall and he still couldn’t find anything for his boyfriend.

     He decided it was a bust. He left the mall very disappointed to be without a Christmas present for Lucifer. On his way out, he noticed a small shop on the corner. It was a Häagen-Dazs. Mike was curious; it was the only store left that he hadn’t visited yet. So he went in to take one last look before he went home empty handed.

     Apparently it was one of those gag gift stores. Michael found himself smiling and laughing at all the random items shown. He took his time looking around, and then he saw it; the perfect gift for Luce. He quickly purchased it and left the mall with a bag in his hand and a smile on his face.

     Lucifer was officially clueless about what he should do next. He had the barbeque ready, and he’d snapped up some coal, but then what? He was lost.

He figured that he’d improvise.

     “What could go wrong?” He said to himself as he unloaded the bag of coal in the barbecue. He snapped his fingers again and started a fire. The turkey was laying on the kitchen counter, soaking wet and covered with scorch marks, Lucifer grabbed it, laid it whole on the grill, and closed the lid of the barbecue.

 

     Thirty minutes later, the door was opened. Michael walked in to find the house foggy and smelly.

     “Luce!” He called out.

     From out of the smoke emerged Lucifer, wearing a flowery apron that proclaimed “World’s Best Mommy”. He was carrying tongs in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other. He was also sweaty, with all sorts of stains covering his face. Michael couldn’t help himself, he burst out into laughter.

     “What have you done to yourself?” He asked, trying to hold back the laughing fit. Lucifer threw the tongs and spoon onto the floor. He stomped out of the kitchen, all the way to the couch and threw himself on it; he was completely wrecked.

     “I tried..” He paused to catch his breath. “I’m trying to make you a traditional Christmas dinner!” He sounded like a five year-old.

     “Why? We could’ve ordered in. Or eaten out! And...what am I saying Luci we don’t even eat!” He exclaimed.

     The house was getting foggier as smoke filled the air. Michael waved his hands, trying to move the smoke away from his face when a loud noise pierced their ears. The two jumped up, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from. But they couldn’t figure it out. For a couple of archangels they sure were clueless.

     “WHAT IS HAPPENING?” Michael screamed to his boyfriend, trying to speak louder than the noise.

     “I DON’T KNOW!” Lucifer replied, his voice straining to be heard.

     They tried everything they could think of, but nothing worked. Eight minutes later their door was knocked down by a couple of firemen, who rushed to carry them out.

     While they sat in the back of the ambulance, wrapped in trauma blankets, the firemen had put out the fire in the kitchen and cleared the house for them to go back to. Once they explained what had happened, the couple was reprimanded for their irresponsible behavior. Lucifer wanted to smite them, but Michael kept him in check.

     Finally they returned to their apartment. They still had no door and everything smelled like burnt turkey. Michael snapped his fingers to clear out the foul odor and make a new door, while Lucifer snapped the kitchen clean and tidy. They sat down on the couch and rested for a while before Michael started laughing.

     “What are you laughing about?” Lucifer said, irritated at his immense failure.

     “You almost burned down the house!” Michael exclaimed, barely able to talk.

     “I was cooking for you, you ass!” he snapped. He failed to see how Michael found it funny.Lucifer was not amused.

     “Oh Luci, you almost burned down the apartment and it was the sweetest thing you have ever done for me.” He said, smiling sweetly.

     Lucifer looked at him angrily, delivering a bitch face he could have only learned from Sam Winchester. He then looked away, mumbling and cursing under his breath.

     Michael stopped laughing and reached out to his boyfriend. He grasped Lucifer’s cheek lovingly, turning the other man to face him. He gazed adoringly at him. He brushed his thumb over Lucifer’s lips before he kissed them. It was short and gentle and Lucifer melted into it instantly. Michael pulled away from the kiss, and pecked Lucifer on his forehead.

     “We don’t need a traditional Christmas dinner, we need a pizza, a couple of beers, and a Christmas flick.” He smiled and formed his fingers to snap the aforementioned items before Lucifer stopped him.

     “Would you at least let me conjure it?” He said jokingly. Michael laughed and threw his hands in the air.

They had dinner, drank their beers and fell asleep watching It’s A Wonderful Life.

     The next morning, they were woken up by a knock at the door. The Winchesters, and their younger brother Castiel had shown up to spend Christmas day together. They had brought gifts along and demanded they open them all up together.

     The look on Michael’s face was priceless when he saw that his gift from Lucifer was identical to what he had been given.

     An ugly red Christmas sweater, with the words ‘Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal’ embroidered on the front.

     They both laughed at the realization that they’d bought identical gifts from the same shop at the same mall.

Christmas became one of their favorite holidays to celebrate.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments if you liked it :)


End file.
